[proxy] introduce moka for the project-info cache (#12710)

## Problem

LKB-2502 The garbage collection of the project info cache is garbage. 

What we observed: If we get unlucky, we might throw away a very hot
entry if the cache is full. The GC loop is dependent on getting a lucky
shard of the projects2ep table that clears a lot of cold entries. The GC
does not take into account active use, and the interval it runs at is
too sparse to do any good.

Can we switch to a proper cache implementation?

Complications:
1. We need to invalidate by project/account.
2. We need to expire based on `retry_delay_ms`.

## Summary of changes

1. Replace `retry_delay_ms: Duration` with `retry_at: Instant` when
deserializing.
2. Split the EndpointControls from the RoleControls into two different
caches.
3. Introduce an expiry policy based on error retry info.
4. Introduce `moka` as a dependency, replacing our `TimedLru`.

See the follow up PR for changing all TimedLru instances to use moka:
#12726.

proxy/src/serverless/rest.rs

@@ -149,8 +149,8 @@ impl DbSchemaCache {
         ctx: &RequestContext,
         config: &'static ProxyConfig,
     ) -> Result<Arc<(ApiConfig, DbSchemaOwned)>, RestError> {
-        match self.get_with_created_at(endpoint_id) {
-            Some(Cached { value: (v, _), .. }) => Ok(v),
+        match self.get(endpoint_id) {
+            Some(Cached { value: v, .. }) => Ok(v),
             None => {
                 info!("db_schema cache miss for endpoint: {:?}", endpoint_id);
                 let remote_value = self