tl;dr it's really hard to avoid throttling from memory.high, and it
counts tmpfs & page cache usage, so it's also hard to make sense of.
In the interest of fixing things quickly with something that should be
*good enough*, this PR switches to instead periodically fetch memory
statistics from the cgroup's memory.stat and use that data to determine
if and when we should upscale.
This PR fixes#5444, which has a lot more detail on the difficulties
we've hit with memory.high. This PR also supersedes #5488.
